Lovepedia Between expectation and reality


Between expectation and reality

We have expectations of life, of our fellow human beings, of our partner, of ourselves. But where do expectations come from, what are they good for and how can we deal with them in the right way?

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Expectations and disappointments

Everyone has expectations and that’s a good thing! Being full of expectations is part of being human. Because if you have no expectations, you have given up on yourself. Expectations motivate us, set goals and create a vision for the future. They are a driving factor for progress and change. However, expectations also inevitably bring disappointment. And yet these are sometimes necessary, as hard as they may be at the moment. Disappointments can protect us from idealizing others or restricting them in their individuality. They also spur us on to look for new solutions.
In order to develop a more realistic approach to expectations, we must learn to consciously question them and adapt them if necessary: “What do I expect?” “To what extent can my expectations be reconciled with reality?” “Are my expectations justified?” If we have too many and too high expectations of ourselves or others, we will inevitably be disappointed.

Expectations of yourself and others

Both positive and negative expectations arise from the self-image we have of ourselves. Some people are quicker to see themselves as welcome, desirable, clever, and likeable, while others tend to think badly of themselves from the outset and have a distorted self-perception.
Just as we have expectations of ourselves, we also have expectations of others. We expect others to be the way we have imagined them to be. However, a happy relationship is not about one person having to meet the wishes and expectations of the other at all times and under all circumstances. The other person does not necessarily have to do what someone expects of them in order to be appreciated and loved. But conversely, they must not force the other person to do or be what they would like. In a relationship, not everything always has to be perfectly harmonious. Mistakes and shortcomings are allowed even in the best marriage. However, open communication is essential to prevent disappointment and frustration from gaining the upper hand. Praying together also welds a relationship together. With God, you are always on the right side.

Christian expectation that focuses life on the here and now

Christian expectation is deeply connected to the reality that Jesus has conquered death and opened up eternity to all people. It is a hope that goes beyond this life, a hope that transcends all earthly things.
The Bible speaks of hope as a “confident expectation”. This hope is not idle but focused on the “here and now”. It is not a mere consolation for the hereafter, as is unfortunately often misunderstood. On the contrary: hope, as Christians understand it, changes the present. It holds the power to tackle even the seemingly insurmountable challenges of life with confidence and determination. Those who carry Christian hope within them can deal more calmly with both joyful situations and disappointments.

What does God expect from me?

You don’t have to conform to everyone else’s expectations. You can be yourself! Stand up for yourself, with your strengths and abilities, but also with your shortcomings. Listen to your conscience. Whatever your past, the decision as to whether you will be a good person in the future lies solely with you. Choose to do good now.
There are many saints from whom you can learn that it is never too late. Look at the apostles. They were afraid, they were cowards. Peter betrayed Jesus. Three times. And yet Jesus wanted him to be the first pope of his Church. You see, Jesus has different standards than people. For Jesus, your will to repent and your love are decisive, not your failures. Peter learned from his mistakes. You can do the same. Every time you realize your mistakes and ask for forgiveness, you become a better person.