Engagement

Love is more than a feeling

Being in love is probably the most beautiful feeling in the world. But are your own feelings and the butterflies in your stomach enough for the vow that couples make to each other at their wedding? “I will love, cherish and honor you all the days of my life, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Till death do us part”. That sounds serious and it is serious. That’s why serious preparation is needed before you walk down the aisle. Engagement is a time to practice the firm resolve to preserve something together that may not be bought, betrayed, or abandoned, however tempting the offer may be. And yet it’s not that easy! Abstinence before marriage, for example, can be a real touchstone for love!

What is an engagement?

Getting engaged is an old tradition that is once again gaining popularity. A beautiful ceremony, the exchange of rings, good food and a celebration with family and friends: All this can be part of an engagement. In fact, traditions bear profound symbolism. Nothing is done for the simple sake of it. The engagement ring, for instance, symbolizes the deep love and the vow to be faithful that the engaged couple make to each other. The engagement makes the commitment to marry official. For the couple, a time of growing closer together and maturing for their marriage begins. It is now time to recognize their own strengths and opportunities, but also the weaknesses and habits that could stand in the way of their development.

An engagement ceremony is not the same as a wedding ceremony

From a liturgical point of view, the engagement is a preparatory act of marriage and “Benedictionale Romanum” classify it among the family blessings. During the engagement ceremony, the couple place themselves under the blessing of God. However, engagement is not a sacrament like marriage. An engagement can still be dissolved, whereas a sacramental marriage cannot. The final “I do” has not yet been spoken. Through the Christian celebration of the engagement, the couple in love is prepared to receive the sacrament of marriage. Pope Francis also gives advice on engagement, saying: “The covenant of love between man and woman – a covenant for life – cannot be improvised. It isn’t made up one day to the next. … Engagement, in other words, is the time when the two are called to perform a real labour of love, an involved and shared work that delves deep.” (Pope Francis, General Audience on 27.05.2015)

When does it (not) make sense to get engaged?

There are a thousand reasons to remain committed to an engagement: Promises, pity, possessions, mailed wedding invitations, convenience, family arrangements, public image, fear. None of these reasons are relevant. Instead, ask yourself: Am I accepted for who I am? Can I accept the other person for who they are? Does the relationship set me free? Do I feel safe? Do I feel that the other person is a gift from God to me? Am I allowed to show myself vulnerable and weak in front of the other person? Can I really trust the other person with everything? Can we laugh about the same things? Can we stand up for each other in front of other people? Listen to your heart. Talk to a priest. God really wants you to be happy. He respects your freedom and at the same time, He helps you to recognize whether you are on the right path.